UGGH

I wanted to blog about last night this morning, and include a few photos in the post. BUT, Blogger just won't work with me today. 

I tried uploading the three same photos for a few times already and it was never successful. Successful as in three out of three photos aren't experiencing any problem. The photos are like corrupted!! :( By the way, there is nothing wrong with the photos in my laptop. 

WHAT IS THIS??

I have a feeling that my extremely slow internet speed has got something to do with it.

Just see for yourself... The photos never appear. It is what you see in the thumbnail.

The same photo being uploaded FOUR TIMES, and was never successful.

This sucks.

I need to try harder...

I am disappointed with myself the moment I know my Semester One results.

I thought that I would at least scored high A's for my Semester One. But no, I didn't. 

Maths. 

I expected a high A for this subject. It turned out I got only 80 marks. What happened?!!

Thinking Skills. 

I have no idea why some people say that Thinking Skills is a 'Free A' subject. I don't feel so. To me,  it is a really dumb subject that is not applicable. I can say that it is worse than Languages, because you get to apply Languages. 

Chemistry. 

Why? I don't understand.

Was it because I was too upset on the day of the exam??

Physics. 

I tried.

Biology. 

I started two weeks before and I guess it is not enough...

Well, at least I know that Maths is still my best subject followed by Biology, Chemistry and lastly Physics. 

Don't judge. I know. This is not what I want for my Semester One.

This sucks. Nothing can cheer me up right now. Not even food.
When Semester Two starts, I've gotta study even harder. This is definitely not enough and is proven by the results.
Hence, I must score high A's for all my subjects for my trials in August.
Wish me luck. xx

Mini Shopaholic

Something to keep me occupied during the holidays. :D 

I hope this is as good as the other Shopaholic books. 

I've got mail

Look what had arrived the other day via PosEkspres. :)
I was a little excited when I receive it because I didn't know who sent it and most importantly what was inside...

My details were handwritten, the sender even knows my handphone number!

And guess what's inside? 

********

It was my application form and other documents from AIMST University.
THAT.

Just so you know, I applied for JPA scholarship a few months ago (solely to please my mom and nothing else) and surprisingly I got shortlisted for the interview and a few weeks later voila!
NO WAAAAAY! 

I applied for Pure Science (don't ask me what is it because I don't know myself either). The course I wanted wasn't in the list. Mom was so excited when I told her I got shortlisted for the interview. She even brought me to get a Baju Kurung for the interview. -_-
The interview went fine. I could answer all the questions asked by the interviewers because they were quite basic questions, plus that was my second interview so I wasn't that nervous.

And just like that, I was a JPA scholar.

JPA offered me a one year Foundation in Science for my Pre-U course and then for my degree it was a three years degree for Bachelor of Science (Hons) in Biotechnology. Both courses are offered in AIMST University.

I rejected the scholarship because I do not want to leave Taylors. PM4, TDC, toilet papers, the hot guys, the boliao-ness, the pariah-ness, you name it. I am going to miss them all if I were to leave. :)
Like what I mentioned earlier, I applied for the scholarship just to please my mom. So yeah, no big deal.

Back to black

I have been thinking about dying my hair black for quite some time already when I was in KL.
I was so sick of black roots and the golden-ish colour. I tried darkening my hair but here's not much use in darkening the hair because it will always fade to that awful shade of gold. Ewww.

Anyway, I dyed my hair black today. :) I miss my black hair so muchhhh!

I am quite happy with the result because I look like the innocent NERDY secondary school version of me.
A few classmates told me I look more decent (less pariah) with black hair, and I think I have to agree with them. I do look less rebellious and wild with black hair.

Something tells me I have not been myself all this while. :/
I guess it has something to do with the hair colour. #justsaying

Anyway, here are the pictures of me!

This is real, this is me. :)

So, what do you think? ;)

5 Days.

For the last five days, I have been busy driving my KL friends around Kuching which is quite enjoyable since I have no chance to drive when I go back to KL.

Definitely feel like a tour guide here, bringing tourists around. :]

I drove them for lunch, dinner, to the beach, to the movies, and elsewhere... 

It has been a hectic week for me, but it was worth it! 

This week was simply fun fun fun! 

I will post up the photos as soon as I get my hands on them. I shall retire for now.

Home

You know that you're homesick when you cannot wait to go back to your hometown. :)
It seems like most of my outstation friends and teacher (Miss Lim) have already gone back to their hometown. It's so quiet here in SS15, the land of students that it feels weird.

I walked pass the college this morning and it was so quiet. There were only a few guards and some student helpers probably helping out with the open day today. Even during the open day it is quiet.

Anyway, I have absolutely nothing to do today. I *was* planning to clean the room today but I'm so lazy to move. You have no idea how messy my room is. I have clothes on the extra bed, chairs, desk, cupboard, and fortunately not on the floor. :) My books are everywhere, on the desk, under the desk, under the bed, on the chair, on the floor and on the bed. You get the picture? I was busy studying alright. :P

I can't wait to go back! This time I will be bringing five PM4 classmates over to the Land of Hornbills. :D
I'm so excited! We might be doing our Malaysian Studies video assignment in Kuching.

I miss Kuching a lot. I miss the food, the people, the traffic, my family and of course, my dogs. :') Every single one of them especially Janice and Summer!! It has been two months since I last saw them and I am pretty sure that they miss me too! Awwww, I can't wait to see them! I love watching Janice, Snowy and Summer overreact every time they see me coming home after abandoning them for a few months. I'm sorry!

Summer - the hyperactive midget.

Janice - the fluffy monter. :3

And Snowy -  the not so white snow. :D

I miss them all. :') Two more days! 

xx

The End of Semester One

Can you believe it? It's already the end of semester one. The end of AS syllabus. :(

Six months since I entered college, six months of being away from home, six months of staying in a part of the country that's so different from the place I grew up. Six months of doing my own chores... SIX MONTHS. And I'm glad to say that: I survived! 

That's amazing. 

I guess it isn't that bad once you adapt to it. Having other outstation friends staying nearby is something that makes you feel less miserable as you know that they are going through the same thing you are going through :). And of course, they are always there to help you. Outstation friends are the closest thing you get to a family when you're outstation. I literally see them everyday.  

Apart from the Kuching Gang, I often hang out with a few of them which are from different part of the country - Johor, Penang, Malacca, Kedah, Perak and even some out-of-town-ers. I get to do a lot of things with them because they are staying so near my rented room, which is a good thing. :) I did some really crazy things with a few of them a few months ago. :D Videos are on Facebook. 

So anyways, I have been hardcore studying in the college (and sometimes in the room) for the past few weeks because of the semester one exams. Quite a number of seniors told me that they did quite badly for their semester one exams, thus I was so worried that I was going to fail my semester one that lead me to this...  This is because I've never fail any exams in my life and I don't intend to. :)

My hard work paid off. :D 

Cuz I got 71 marks for Physics!!!

PHYSICS. The subject I hated the most because I don't like it! 71 is a freaking B. 

It's 5 marks away from an A I tell you!! 

5 MARKS.

I'm relieved. And happy. I thought I was going to fail Physics because I failed several Physics class tests. :/

This reminds me, I shall hardcore study even more hardcore-ly for the next semester. My AS Trials is in August, two months from now. 8 WEEKS. D:

Cup noodles for dinner while studying in college.

There's hope in me for Physics!

After our last paper today, 14 of us PM4s went to Sunway Pyramid to catch a movie. Before that we went to Nando's for lunch. Yummms! Why don't they have Nando's in Kuching?

Tickle your taste buds. :]

X-men First Class is AWESOME! I am not a fan of action pack movies, but this is seriously good and worth your 10 bucks in TGV! It's a must watch. This is coming from a person who fell asleep watching Terminator and Transformers.

And, and, and, the main character, Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) is hot! Somehow guys who are smart and good looking, in my opinion, are big turn-ons. :D I couldn't keep my eyes off James McAvoy throughout the movie! From certain angle, he resembles Robert Pattinson. ;D

James McAvoy! JAMES MCAVOY. ♥
WATCH THE MOVIE and you'll know what I mean. :)

Better

Today wasn't as bad as yesterday. I didn't fake smiles, nor laughters, like what I did for the past two days, IF, you noticed.

I guess I have gotten over IT.

For two nights consecutively, I couldn't sleep well, by well I meant going to bed at 12am, lying there staring into space and finally getting some sleep one and a half hour later. It really sucks to be unable to sleep when you want to. There were a lot of things going on in my mind for the last two nights, and I doubt it's because of the exams. I tried studying but nothing goes in. NOTHING.
I didn't even consume coffee for the past few days. What's wrong with me? :(

Anyways, it is getting late now. I must sleep now or else I will be very grumpy for tomorrow's Thinking Skills paper. :S

When there's no one out there to help...

I get a little bit stronger.

Isolation

Some days, you just don't feel like talking to anyone else because you don't think that they will understand you. These days are when you need a hug from someone who really do care about you, and someone who would listen to you rather than telling you 'I told you so!'.

Today is not my day. I'm having a bad day.
Don't you just hate it when your friends don't even take you seriously?
Please. I don't want you to joke about me when I'm not in the mood for your jokes. And most of the times your jokes are hurtful and I hate them.
Can't tell that I am not in the mood? Well, go figure.

I couldn't sleep well last night, my head keeps thinking about stuffs.
Nothing related to Chemistry.

I'm tired all of these. Trying to distract myself by studying for tomorrow's Physics.
Laters.

P/S: Thanks to those who cared about me... :)

I didn't make it.

Last week I auditioned for Production 2 for TDC (Taylors Dance Club) under Contemporary. It was my best style out of the eight dance styles.

The results were announced today. And I didn't make it. I guess I wasn't good enough to get in that's why. 

It was my best style and I didn't get in. 

What more to say about the other styles which I know nothing about? This is depressing. Utterly depressing. It's like someone telling you that you suck in the thing you love doing and do best in. I really wanted to perform for Production 2, but I guess I won't be performing for that anymore. 

I really really love dancing. I want to perform for Production 2 because by doing so, I get to dance as much as I want to. Now, that's never going to happen. I didn't even make it. Not even close. What did I do wrong? :(

This is killing me slowly. I sacrificed quite a lot for dance. 

My study time. My holidays. My sleep time. 

And what did I get in return? 

I stopped attending ballet classes when I came over. 

Before I stop, it was dancing non-stop for hours during the weekends for me. It is tiring at first but I love it. I love feeling tired and soreness everywhere after dancing. And I thought that by coming over, I can find a ballet studio so that I can dance for a few hours continuously and feel good about it. But no. I can't even find a ballet studio near the place I am staying right now. 

Maybe this is a sign. Maybe I should not spend so much time dancing. Maybe I should use the time I spend on dance to study. This is A-Levels. It is not something you can pass easily. So yeah. Less dancing, more studying. 

In my opinion, it is very difficult to be good in dancing. No matter how hard you train, let it be weeks, months, years... You can never be as good as someone with the perfect physique, the perfect body, the perfect turn out, the perfect flexibility for dance. 

So why spend so much time on something you can never be good at?

I've spent less time studying and more time dancing and yet my academic results are better than my dance results. Maybe this is why, I should focus on my studies. Something I'm good at, something I can improve on.

But I love dancing. It lets me express myself, feel graceful and beautiful. It is really frustrating to have a body that limits you when you dance. 

So I don't know what to do now. 

Tomorrow's my Chemistry Semester One exam and I don't even feel like studying. 

Devastated. Full stop. 

Good night.

There's always room for improvement Xian. Room for improvement.

Weekends

Ever since I came back to SS15 after the midterm holidays, I have been spending my weekends in college. Doing what everyone else is doing there - study. Yes, I go to college during the weekends to study. 

There's just too many things to study, and so little time. :S The college has a lot of places to study, unlike your normal high school. Plus it is a really good place to study provided there's no noisy people there. I can save a lot on electricity bill if I were to study in college everyday. :) 

I am nerdified. 8)

Random

I don't know why but I just like my blog posts to be long. For a few times I have made an attempt to blog but it was too short that I deleted the post instead of posting it. :(

So far, there's only a few posts for this blog. You guys might think that I've once again abandoned my blog. I did leave my blog *dead* for a few weeks/months because this wasn't of high priority which means I have other better things to do. *shrugs*

College life is so different from high school life. Especially when if you're taking Cambridge A-Levels. Sometimes I do feel that I do not have a life because I spend my weekends in the college's cafeteria studying my ass off. True story bro. Cambridge A-Levels (CAL for short) is like SPM all over again, just that the duration is shorter and the scope is wider.
For example, there are only 10 chapters of Physics for SPM to be covered in two years whereas there are 14 chapters of Physics to be covered in SIX months for CAL. This is tough. For a person like me who has no interest in Physics at all, it is pretty hard to cope with so many chapters in Physics.

And that is only one subject. I am taking a total of five subjects of AS (something like lower six of STPM, in terms of CAL), which are: Mathematics, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, and Thinking Skills.
Thinking Skills is very ridiculous in my opinion. It was compulsory for all CAL students during the beginning of the year but it seems that the policy has changed. Now it is an optional subject.

I wanted to drop Thinking Skills but my parents forbid me to do so because they say that it will help me in the long run which I don't quite agree.

Bottom line is, A-Levels is very very very tough. Sometimes I feel like quitting this course and apply for some easier course. :(
That reminds me, my semester one exam starts in two days time. :(

I am suppose to sleep. It is 3:07am. I can't afford to be sleep deprived tomorrow.

Semester One

Semester one is ending in about a week. I have been in college for five months. FIVE MONTHS. One semester. That was fast. :/
Honestly it feels like I've just started college. I guess time really does fly when you're busy.